i keep trying to remind myself: healing is a process. healing is a process. healing is a process.
i know i am taking the right steps toward where i need to be, which is important.
i know that the emotional rollercoaster is going to last for awhile, and that it is okay.
i know that i am going to need to reach out to people when i need them right now, and that this is also okay.
i know that i am going to need to continue to be an advocate for myself, emotionally, financially, and legally.
lastly, i know i am capable of getting through this. i have been through worse, and came out better for it. when i think about how terrible this year has been, it occurs to me that 2008 still eclipses every terror i have ever faced. there is something comforting about the fact that the loss of my father still serves as a significant benchmark for traumatic events in my life. if it isn't as bad as that, then hey. i am going to be okay. i just need to hang on to that.
this year has been a year of setbacks, but i feel like i have still grown in many ways. there has to be something said for that. right?
Most definitely. You're still standing.
ReplyDeleteYes! There's a lot to be said for that! Trust me. In 2008 I went from married to divorced. From owning a house to renting one. And I gained 10 pounds (at least). I felt like at 25 I was taking a million steps back while everyone else around me was taking a million steps forward. But I do know that that year changed me for the better and three years later I am a far happier person than I was before all of those setbacks. I'm sure your situation will end similarly! :)
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